Androphilia Revisited

This excerpt is from the book, “Androphile Pride,” available from Amazon, Google Play, Audible, Scribd and more.

Androphile Pride book cover

Let me tell you about Frank.

Frank knows. Somehow Frank has always known. He’s a guy who likes guys. That’s about it.

He likes cock. Period.

All would be fine for Frank if it weren’t for other people.

Suddenly there are all these other people who tell Frank WHO HE IS and WHAT HIS LIFE SHOULD LOOK LIKE. All simply because he likes cock.

The ultra-rigid-fear-mongering Christians tell you that you are demon spawn: recruited by an older man and now out to recruit boys to a life that will condemn you to hell. To them you are a fag, more girl than boy, who doesn’t know the difference between a flat head and Phillips head screw driver.

The so-called gay movement also tells you are a fag, encourages you to celebrate your girlishness and celebrates the fact that you like cock with a bunch of other guys who like cock and a few girls who like pussy while you sip on a screwdriver with your breakfast. It is so accepting. It feels like Frank has come home. And it feels like one big party. Frank, who is playfully called Francine, is told he can be himself — in a place where he is loved for who he is — not condemned as demon spawn simply for what he does. Except Frank is not loved for who he is (otherwise his new pals in the gay community would call him Frank and not Francine). It’s not long before Frank discovers that the liberal-leaning gay movement has a long list of views that he needs to not only accept but also espouse in order to be accepted by the community.

In subtle and not-so-subtle ways, the “gay” community indoctrinates Frank. He is educated that the fact that he now acknowledges that he’s a guy who likes cock also means he wants a woman for President. It also means that he likes the Village People. And transgender rights better be on the top of his list right under supporting abortion right up until the moment of delivery. He is now a feminist — and he better be a good one. And he better get some fashion sense — and rather quickly — because he is now the trusted advisor of home decorating tips for all his “straight” friends.

The list goes on and on.

But Frank isn’t interested in any of this. He’s just interested in men. But that’s not enough for today’s gay community. He is told he needs to embrace himself and that includes every aspect of the liberal agenda including accepting and promoting drag queens, aberrant gay behavior, and a host of stereotypes.

He is welcomed into the gay community, or so it seems. And told that now he can be himself, or so it seems. But there is one, long caveat: there is a list that defines what this “self” is and he better embrace it or that welcome mat will be pulled up. “Show your gay pride” he is told. Vote this way he is told. Paint your nails, put on some mascara, prance around in public and make a spectacle of yourself he is told.

And when he doesn’t join in lockstep with this world view, he is told he has internalized homophobia.

This is all upsetting to Frank.

To him, who he is sexually attracted to is a small part of who he is. To Frank there is so much more to him than being gay. But the gay community tells him that being gay is the beginning and the end at every opportunity, blasting “I Am What I Am” from loudspeakers while a half-intoxicated man dressed up as a woman with way too much make up does a bad job lip-syncing the lyrics.

So Frank finds himself caught: told by two competing communities that whom he has sex with is all that he is. Period. The choice is simple: demon spawn recruiter of young boys or Francine, aka Prance-cine.

Then, one day, Frank discovers the androphile movement. Dripping with testosterone with one seemingly simple membership requirement. You’re a guy who likes cock. A guy who knows the difference between a flat head and Phillips head screw driver. A guy’s guy. A man’s man. A dude. Embrace your dude-ness. Be yourself. Be a man. Welcome home.

Frank thinks he has found his place. A place where he can be who he is — a guy who likes cock — without making a big deal out of it.

But there is a problem.

Actually, there are many problems.

But someone like Frank doesn’t care about the problems because he himself is reacting to both competing movements at opposite ends of the spectrum. And, because at its core, the roots of the androphile movement itself are heavily reactionary, the movement seems to “fit” for Frank — responding to all his concerns — to his objections — to his reactions.

The androphile movement appears to be the middle-of-the-road, accept-who-you-are, alternative to the bullshit spewed forth by the gay community.

But it’s not.

Because the androphile movement had as its source, a reaction to the “gay” movement, it was defined in opposition. Think black versus white — there is no room for grey here.

And from that opposition-oriented reactive origin emerged reactionary values.

And Frank is now indoctrinated by the androphile movement to those values. He is told we don’t need gay rights, feminism is crap, etc. Frank learns that just as the “gay” community has a long list of what is means to be “gay”, these androphiles also have a list of what is means to be an “androphile.” He reads the “bible” of the movement and even learns from the author that if he isn’t able to have sex with other men, it’s no big deal, just fuck a woman. Look to the initial founder of the androphile movement for a role model and you’ll walk away with more testosterone-filled stereotypes, not the least of which is to start weight lifting until you have the flexibility of a rhinoceros.

The simple truth is that the early androphile movement leaders were just a rigid and judgmental in their perspective as the gay movement has been (and continues to be) in theirs.

This book presents a solution to all of these rigid viewpoints — and as such, augments the androphile movement and fosters greater inclusiveness. Not inclusiveness for one politicized perspective over another. Inclusiveness for the individual with ample room for individual differences.

Ample room for Frank.

This book also addresses the problem of “internalized homophobia”. This is no small matter and has the potential to pollute your perspective. On one hand, this label — actually and accusation — is used by the gay community to invalidate and dismiss your views. And while the gay community uses the term to manipulate its members, the concept can be seen as a real motivator in some of the perspectives espoused by the original androphilia founders.

When you take a deep, hard, look at the writings of the early contributors in the androphile movement, you will see that their perspective is driven equally by their own internal homophobia as it is driven by an attempt to build an alternative to the preordained identity that the “gay” movement perpetuates. You don’t have to look any further from the writings about same sex marriage that the early contributors to the movement held out. That is, “we don’t need same sex marriage.” This makes absolutely no sense. Considered simply from an economic perspective, a guy who is in a serious, committed, relationship with another guy would want same sex marriage. After all, why the hell should I pay more in taxes than my heterosexual neighbors who are married when I have the same type of relationship but with another guy? Why would I not want the same protections? If these, pry-my-gun-from-my-cold-dead-hands-manly-men were really men, they would be saying “I am not paying extra taxes because you won’t recognize my same sex relationship and if you come on my property to try and get those taxes I will shoot you.” But they don’t.

This book helps you sort out the accusations designed to minimize and manipulate you from the real voice in your head telling you that you are somehow less than everyone else because you want to have sex with someone of the same gender.

This book expands the androphile movement to where it should have been to begin with: an alternative — not a reaction — to the gay bullshit rhetoric that guys are fed when they go to their first “gay pride” event. An alternative that is grounded in you figuring out who you really are: not demon spawn, not Prance-cine, not manly Rhino-Frank — you! An alternative that does not ignore the impact of homophobia in the world around us and encourages you to genuinely explore ways you may have internalized some of this without being injected with gay rhetoric while exploring any internalized homophobia. (One inventory actually suggests that if you feel like you are different from other gays and that makes you not want to join the gay community, you might have some internalized homophobia).

This book helps you discover and embrace you. This book is about you, and your androphile identity. As such, you won’t find much propaganda and edicts in this book. (After call it’s not about MY androphile identity). What you will find are lots of questions for you to consider, ponder and answer. In fact, you would be well-served to get a journal to record your thoughts, reactions, and ideas. Your journal is the real androphile pride book: a book that is about you, your values, your life, your vision, and your identity.

Please note that this all does not mean that this book is opinion-free. It is spewing with my opinions. It just means that I am not going to imply that unless you adopt my opinions as your own you are somehow flawed or screwed up.

G. Scott Graham-Stephens
November 2020

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G. Scott Graham is an author, a career coach and a business coach in Boston, Massachusetts. http://BostonBusiness.Coach

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G. Scott Graham

G. Scott Graham is an author, a career coach and a business coach in Boston, Massachusetts. http://BostonBusiness.Coach