Gaslighting the Grieving Part 2

G. Scott Graham
4 min readDec 25, 2022

“Why are you so angry?”

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

That same person who attempted to invalidate the truth about grief by pinning it on “my journey” attempted to gaslight me by labeling me as angry.

I am a direct, tell-it-like-it-is, blunt kind of guy. I don’t try to sugarcoat what I’m saying, especially when it’s vital to understand what I’m expressing.

It is essential to dispel the widespread fallacies surrounding the grieving process.

These myths are everywhere, from the card you get in the grocery store to the diagnostic criteria promoted by the APA (and the drug manufacturers who want to dope you up after you are diagnosed with “prolonged grief disorder”).

People aren’t aware of certain realities of grieving, and I want everyone to hear those realities as clearly as possible.

There are ways to respond to grief that people don’t do, and I want people to hear them loud and clear.

These individuals, who have a responsibility to know better and have a responsibility to act better, appear to lack the self-awareness necessary to self-correct. Their ways of thinking about grief are entrenched. Their ways of responding to grief are habituated.

The unhelpful, assumption-based, and erroneous model that they use to negotiate the grief and loss of others is the last thing that should be considered helpful. In point of fact, it is harmful.

I simply want people to wake the fuck up.

It’s urgent. It’s critical.

If you are grieving, you will no doubt encounter those who will ignore your directions about responding to and supporting your grief.

You may need to embolden your communication with the people. When you are grieving and someone around you isn’t listening to what you have to say, it takes a lot of guts to turn up the volume of your communication.

If you are going through a difficult time, you will undoubtedly run into people who will try to manipulate your emotions by telling you things that aren’t true rather than reflecting on their own experiences.

You may need to walk away from these people. It takes courage to find different support when you are…

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G. Scott Graham

G. Scott Graham is an author, a career coach, a business coach, and a psychedelic support coach in Boston, Massachusetts. http://BostonBusiness.Coach